Poopyfoot and Left Out

Dear Paws,

well. this is a very serious problem. my dog likes to run round the garden with me, and often i take him out late at night when i am in my pyjamas and slipper socks/barefoot. but its kinda hard to keep track of all his poops, so sometimes when im running out with him, i feel a -squelch- and i stand in poop :/ how can i teach my dog to poop in the same place or come tell me when hes pooped so i can pick it up? please help.
Signed Poopyfoot

Maddie: I don't understand what the problem is, it IS his yard, he can poop where he wants.

Murphy: Why do you step in his poop? Can't you smell where you are walking? How do you know where you are going if you aren't sniffing your way around?

Rogue: Ewww, your dog poops outside? In the open? Just anywhere? Get him a nice private box like I have. *Shudders* I can't handle others seeing me poop.

Dear Paws,

Well like every other person, I tendacy to feel left out or maybe lets use a harsher word? Jealous. It all started when we hit school again, last year our class was splitted up thus leaving my friend away from her bestfriend. I was with my friend. Lets call my friend A and her bestfriend R.

I was the only one there she actually hanged out with so during that whole year we were like tight bestfriends. And now this year she doesn't even talk to me that much and is always with her bestfriend. This has been going on for almost this whole year. I let myself wonder about and wait for her to come around cause I get that she might missed her old friend. But A never really came around yet sometimes she came to me to tell me how R was such backstabber ect. But she keeps returning to be her friend, while I can atleast offer better friendship...well maybe more reliable.
Signed Left Out

Maddie: Oh this is easy. Just let her know you want to be friends by bringing her a ball. Or give her belly rubs. Belly rubs are heaven. Mmmm, rub MY belly now *rolls over*

Murphy: Maybe you should try to do fun things with her. Like raiding the garbage can. But I think Maddie is wrong, balls are stupid. Your friend wouldn't like a ball. Maybe you can find something that smells really good and show it to her. Smelling things is way more fun than a stupid ball.

Rogue: Does she ever give you ear scratches? If not, I would say go find a new friend that will scratch your ears. You should have more than one friend to run around with, that way you are guaranteed that one of them will be around when you need ear scratches.

Milk, Sugar, Cheese, Coffee.... Where's The Coffee?

I make a list. I look through the fridge and the cupboards. I check everything. I plan meals for the week and list every ingredient I don't have on the list. I double check. I triple check. I make sure every possible thing is on my list.

So WHY do I forget something every time I go grocery shopping? I shop by the list, crossing off each item as I place it in the cart. Oh sure, I buy a few extras, chips, cookies, etc. But no matter how careful I am, I always forget some critical thing.

So then I am stuck with a pantry full of food and nothing to eat. Because whatever ingredient I miss is somehow needed for everything. This time I forgot the coffee. How could I forget to buy coffee? I live on the stuff, I drink around a pot a day. I know when I am getting low. It is always the first thing on my list, followed by sugar and creamer.

So this time I forgot coffee, now I need to run back up to the store to get it or I will not be fit company for anyone tomorrow. Last time I forgot cheese. And of course, just about every meal I had planned on required cheese. So tons of food in the cupboards, and nothing to make. Cereal for dinner just doesn't seem to satisfy.

I have tried shopping without a list, with a list, by section, and by aisle. I have spent hours in the grocery, making sure to look at every item for sale, making sure I got everything I need. None of it works. I always forget something. And it is never anything silly, like a pack of cookies, or a box of dog treats. Nope, it is never something trivial, the thing I forget is always a critical ingredient.

I could plan a weeks worth of meals, trying not to repeat any ingredient in the recipes. Nope, somehow I would need something to cook them all, and sure enough, that would be the thing I forget.

Hmm, I already know the pets are plotting against me, and that damn chair is out to get me... now I think the grocery is siding with them. They are all in this together, I bet. I KNOW I put coffee on the list, but checking it now, it is nowhere to be found. I bet the chair told the puppycat to erase it while I was getting my shoes on. And somehow the grocery store hid the coffee, even though I walked right past where it should have been to get the sugar.

That must be it, it has to be. They must all be plotting against me. Because there is no way I would just forget... is there?

Then... and Now...

This was sent to me in an email awhile back. It kinda makes you wonder doesn't it?

THEN... AND NOW...

SCENARIO: JACK PULLS INTO SCHOOL PARKING LOT WITH RIFLE IN GUN RACK.
1963 - Vice Principal comes over, takes a look at Jack's rifle, goes to his car and gets his to show Jack.
2006 - School goes into lockdown, FBI called, Jack hauled off to jail and never sees his truck or gun again. Counselors called in for traumatized students and teachers.


SCENARIO: JOHNNY AND MARK GET INTO A FIST FIGHT AFTER SCHOOL.
1963 - Crowd gathers. Mark wins Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up best friends Nobody goes to jail, nobody arrested, nobody expelled.
2006 - Police called, SWAT team arrives, arrests Johnny and Mark. Charge them with assault, both expelled even though Johnny started it.


SCENARIO: LITTLE JEFFREY WON'T BE STILL IN CLASS, DISRUPTS OTHER STUDENTS.
1963 - Jeffrey sent to office and given a good paddling by Principal. Sits still in class.
2006 - Jeffrey given huge doses of Ritalin. Becomes a zombie. School gets extra money from state because Jeffrey has a disability.


SCENARIO: BILLY BREAKS A WINDOW IN HIS FATHER'S CAR AND HIS DAD GIVES HIM A WHIPPING.
1963 - Billy is more careful next time, grows up normal, goes to college, and becomes a successful businessman.
2006 - Billy's Dad is arrested for child abuse. Billy removed to foster care and joins a gang. Billy's sister is told by state psychologist that she remembers being abused herself and their Dad goes to prison. Billy's mom has affair with psychologist.


SCENARIO: MARK GETS A HEADACHE AND TAKES SOME HEADACHE MEDICINE TO SCHOOL.
1963 - Mark shares headache medicine with Principal out on the smoking dock.
2006 - Police called, Mark expelled from school for drug violations. Car searched for drugs and weapons.


SCENARIO: MARY TURNS UP PREGNANT.
1963 - 5 High School Boys leave town. Mary does her senior year at a special school for expectant mothers.
2006 - Middle School Counselor calls Planned Parenthood, who notifies the ACLU. Mary is driven to the next state over and gets an abortion without her parent's consent or knowledge. Mary given condoms and told to be more careful next time.


SCENARIO: PEDRO FAILS HIGH SCHOOL ENGLISH.
1963: Pedro goes to summer school, passes English, goes to college.
2006: Pedro's cause is taken up by ultra-liberals. Newspaper articles appear nationally explaining that teaching English as a requirement for graduation is racist. ACLU files class action lawsuit against state school system and Pedro's English teacher. English banned from core curriculum. Pedro granted diploma anyway and ends up mowing lawns for a living because he can't speak English.


SCENARIO: JOHNNY TAKES APART LEFTOVER FIRECRACKERS FROM THE 4TH OF JULY, PUTS THEM IN A MODEL AIRPLANE PAINT BOTTLE, BLOWS UP A RED ANT NEST.
1963 - Ants die.
2006 - ATF, Homeland Security, FBI called. Johnny charged with domestic terrorism, FBI investigates parents, siblings removed from home, computers confiscated, Johnny's Dad goes on a terror watch list and is never allowed to fly again. This also becomes a media event because the SPCA believes the ants were treated inhumanely.


SCENARIO: JOHNNY FALLS WHILE RUNNING DURING RECESS AND SCRAPES HIS KNEE. HE IS FOUND CRYING BY HIS TEACHER, MARY, WHO HUGS JOHNNY TO COMFORT HIM.
1963 - In a short time Johnny feels better and goes on playing.
2006 - Mary is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her job. She faces 3 years in State Prison.

And this is what they call progress?


So what do you think, is today's world really better, or have we given up too much?

Batteries Not Included...

So, it is the day after Christmas. All the presents are opened, Santa has come and gone for another year. Most of us think the work is over now. No more gifts to buy, we can start saving up again, the kids won't be whining about how they NEED to get this toy or that ipod. We take a breath or relief, we are done for the year.

Not quite. We don't have to buy anymore gifts, but now we get the joys of retuning what isn't liked, fighting the stores for refunds or store credit. Hoping that gift receipt you need didn't get thrown out with the wrapping paper shreds. Oh, speaking of wrapping paper, this is the day you wonder just WHY you bothered to wrap everything. All that careful work, to make it look perfect, is now laying in tiny shreds all over the house. The kids are playing with the boxes things came in, those expensive toys are laying forgotten under the tree.

No more baking to do, but what to do with that fruitcake your crazy aunt gives you every year. No one eats those things, why are they even made? Our fingers are blistered from opening toys for the kids. Sealed in hard plastic, twist-tied to oblivion, you need a jackhammer to bust these things open.

I can't understand this. Toy makers spend tons of money to hype up their products, then seal them in indestructible packaging. We spend hours trying to get these things out of the plastic, the kids whining at our sides, only to have them discarded five minutes later while they make robots out of the twist ties they came in.

So much left to do, take the 27 bags of trashed packaging to the curb, drag the cat out of the tree another 30 times, stop the dog from eating the play-doh the kids left to be ground into the carpet. Oh and don't forget, we still have about 10 runs to make to the store for that essential thing we need, the adapter cable we forgot, and batteries. Sure, many toys now come with batteries. But those only last 2 minutes, just long enough for you to know you will HATE that toy and it's noises, but not long enough to let the kid get bored.

Now is the time to decide, which toys get to stay and which will mysteriously 'vanish' in the next couple of days. And what was Uncle thinking when he got THAT for us? And, we love our mothers, but we don't love that purple sweater with neon glitter snowmen on it. But we wear it anyway and just try not to look in any mirrors.

We are run ragged before Christmas, we do so much, the day after should be a day of relaxation. But there is still so much to do, and that is when we wish that life didn't come with batteries not included....

Procrastination Works!

I hear people say we shouldn't procrastinate. That we should get thing done as soon as we can and not wait until the last minute. For some things I guess that is true. But for me, I perform better under pressure sometimes.

I had a major paper to write for my Composition class. I knew about it and was supposed to be working on it for over a month. But I just kept putting it off. Every time I would go to write or to think about what i wanted to say, my mind would wander and my thoughts would be chaotic. Sitting there looking at the blank sheet of paper, I just couldn't think of anything to write.

So I put it off, there was always tomorrow, or next week to get it done. Until I woke up Saturday, the paper due that night, over 1200 words needed, and I hadn't done anything. Ah, I thought, I still have hours yet, I will do it later today. Finally it came down to the wire. It was due in just a couple of hours. I needed to get it done. Miraculously, the blank paper didn't faze me. I knew what I wanted to say and how I wanted to say it. I churned out over 1600 words in less than an hour.

The paper was turned in less than an hour before the deadline. I wasn't sure if it was any good, but at least it was done. Just a few minutes ago, I checked into class. The paper had been graded and commented on by my Professor. I received an A, 100 points of 100 available. The Professor said I did well and had a good grasp of the assignment.

I have always put off critical things like that until the last minute, and almost invariably, I have done much better work under that pressure than I have done if I completed early. So, regardless of how much people say procrastination is bad, I would have to say, it works for me.

It Was In Bed With Me!

Not that long ago, maybe a few months or so, I had a relatively normal day. Played on the computer, watched some TV, etc. Ducky went to bed at his usual time and I stayed up longer, like I always do. A couple hours later, I was finally ready to sleep. Let the dogs out for the last time, checked their water, got ready for bed. Nice and sleepy, ready to lay down and get a good nights rest. Little did I know what was coming that night.

I turned off the lights and crawled under the covers, knowing my puppycat would be along shortly as he always comes to bed when I do. I laid there for a moment, then noticed that the sheet that was covering me was wrinkled. I find crumpled covers annoying so I shook them out and straightened them.

Right after I got the sheet and blankets arranged properly, I felt a hair on my hip. Sighing at the dogs for shedding in my bed, I brushed my hand over my hip and rubbed a bit as the hair tickled some.

Umm, a hair isn't round and solid. What the hell? There is something on me! I sat up fast and turned to kneel on the bed and reached over and turned on the light.

A spider was on my bed, trying to crawl up to hide under my pillow. Now, I am severely phobic of spiders, so at this point I couldn't breathe or move. And this wasn't a little spider, it was bigger than a quarter, hairy and black. All I wanted to do was run out of the room, screaming my head off. But all I could do was reach over and shake Ducky awake.

He was sound asleep and had no idea of what was going on. I couldn't tell him because I still couldn't breathe. So I simply sat there watching this spider crawl away from me while I shook and pointed. Ducky finally saw it and woke enough to realize what it was. He got up, got some tissue and disposed of the horrid thing.

What he did next astonished me. He brushed a few remaining spider legs off the bed, turned off the light, and laid down to go back to sleep. I wasn't nearly so calm. Needles to say, I didn't stay in bed. I went back to my computer and sat their until well after the sun came up.

Once it was light enough to see, I finally tried to go back to bed. But not before using a flashlight to make absolutely certain that I was the only thing in the bed.
Even now, months later, I still check the bed before I get into it, and the memory of that spider crawling right on me still causes the occasional sleepless night.

As children, we believe the monsters can't get us if we hide under the covers. But for me at least, that isn't true. For me, the monster was under the covers, just waiting for me to come to bed.

If Ducky hadn't been there, I would be sleeping in my chair or on the couch to this day, and that spider would have had the bed to itself.

I still can't believe it was in bed with me! *Shudders*

Oh Hai, I Can Has Cheezburger?

Today, I think I will share another website with you. This is another one of my favorites. Don't worry, there isn't much reading on this one. Just about 200 pages of cute kittens, cats, dogs, hamsters, and more.



Are you ready for a cuteness overload? Would you like to spend some time laughing? Head on over to I Can Has Cheezburger?.



I won't take up any more of your time today, instead I will just sit back and let you enjoy the cuteness at I Can Has Cheezburger?

Ice Cream and Bruises

To start out with, I should explain: I have no depth perception. I cannot tell exactly where things are, or how far away they may be from me or each other. Apparently, my eyes don't work together as they should so distance and location has always been impossible for me to determine. This has cause me to bump into doorways, knock over drinks, etc.

As a result of this, I am not the type of person who rearranges their furniture very often. I tend to put everything in a spot and there it will remain until I move out. Earlier this year, however, I got tired of bumping into the doorway leading out of our main room. There was a chair on one side and a dresser on the other. But they were on the wrong sides. The chair was on the narrow side and the dresser was on the wider side.

So I switched them. Seemed to make sense. The chair was wider than the space it was in, and blocking part of the doorway. Switching sides would mean a clear path to the other room and I shouldn't bump into the doorway anymore.

But the chair was long than the dresser, and that meant I had to remember to walk two steps further before I turned to go through the doorway. I think you can see where this is going now, *grins*

All went well for a few days, until we decided to have ice cream cones. The ice cream didn't want to stay on the cone so I dumped it into a bowl and ate the cone first. Then I reached for the ice cream and realized I didn't have a spoon. Focused on what I was reading, I grabbed the bowl and jumped up to hurry to the kitchen to get a spoon.

I have no idea why I took the bowl with me, it could have sat on the table while I got the spoon, but I took it with me. Not really thinking about anything except getting that spoon and getting back to my story, I forgot about that chair I moved.

Yup, I tripped on it. But this wasn't a simple stumble. Nope, it was much more dramatic than that. Picture this scene now: My foot slammed under the chair. I went flying forward, landing on the chair. But since I was moving quickly, there was more. I bounced off the chair and hit the dresser before finally crash landing on the floor. The ice cream and the bowl soared up and landed in the chair, splattering all over it.

Go ahead. You can laugh. I know you want to. I sure did. Even laying there on the floor, bruised in many places from that dramatic fall, trying to catch my breath and gasping from the ache of hitting my foot on the chair, the throbbing in my side from colliding with the dresser, and the pain in my hip and back from the wrenching landing on the stone tile floor. Even with all of that, I knew how funny my fall must have looked.

Ducky had seen my acrobatic failure, and when I looked up, he was standing there. Fighting off a grin and asking if I was alright. I couldn't answer at first, the pain and the laughter took my breath away. Eventually, I managed to get up, and limp back to my seat. I was bruised, wrenched and sore, but even then I knew just how ridiculous I must have looked.

That chair didn't stay there much longer, it was soon moved to an out of the way corner where I have almost no risk of tripping over it again.

I still find the whole event hilarious. One thing I now know for sure, though, is this: I am not an acrobat, nor can I fly. Oh and that chair is still plotting against me, I just know it.

How Do You Water A Cat?

Well, my cat, or puppycat as I refer to him, has not been in the best of health lately. He has been to the vet several times over the last two months, his food has been changed. He was on antibiotics for a bit to prevent infection. My poor Rogue has crystals in his bladder.

The solution was to put him on canned food. But he won't eat that. He wants his dry kibble only. Second solution, give him water flavored with broth or tuna. That worked, we thought. But we went to the vet again this morning and he has only slightly improved. He needs to drink much more than he has been.

That brings me to the question: How do you water a cat? A dog is easy, just mix water with their food, flavor their water with meat. Simple. But a cat does what it wants, which is usually not what you want it to do. So once Rogue figured out we wanted him to drink the water, he of course, stopped drinking much.

Tricking him hasn't worked, Now we are down to force. I have to make him drink, so this problem gets better and goes away. But how to force a cat to drink?

Flavored water doesn't really work. Hmm, I could dunk him in a bath full of water. He would drink plenty while he was trying to dry himself off. Hold on, I think I will try that.

........I think maybe that wasn't such a good idea. I should have had more bandages in the house. And my pillow is soaked from him laying on it. Going to bed tonight won't be very pleasant.

Oh, I have a dosing syringe here. I will just squirt some water down his throat. He will swallow it and get the liquid he needs. C'mere Rogue, come have a drink....

Not too bad, he swallowed maybe an ounce. But do any of you know the best way to get cat vomit out of a couch? No, I didn't choke him with the water. About 5 minutes after I made him drink, he got up on the couch and stared at me until I noticed him. Once he saw I was looking, he deliberately vomited on it. I just count myself lucky he didn't treat it as a litter box.

Now I need a few more bandages, a couch cleaner and a nap. This has been a tiring battle with my cat. I am about ready to just head back to bed, wet pillow and all, and call this day done.

But oh yes, I still need to know... How do you water a cat?

And Then The Computer Melted!

First, I was in the park, throwing bread into the pond for the ducks. Something moved in the water and the ducks flew away. Suddenly, I was at Wal-Mart, shopping for a gift, but I couldn't find the right thing. The scene changed and I was at a friend's house, but it didn't look like their house. I went to ask them what they were doing, and then the computer melted!

That was one of my dreams last night. I had a few others that I remember, but every one of them was weird or didn't make sense. Isn't it amazing what your mind comes up with while you sleep?

Yet, in the dream, it all seems normal. A friend who normally has blond hair can have green hair in a dream, and it seems right. Your house could have extra rooms, or be in a totally different location, and that is correct. Then we wake up, and we wonder, "What the hell was that all about."

Dreams have fascinated the human race as long as we have existed. People vary from the opinion that dreams mean something to the opinion that dreams are meaningless. Books have been written and people have made a living giving meanings and definitions to dreams. We are endlessly looking for reasons and sense in our dreams.

Sometimes it seems that what we dream about comes true. Or maybe we realize a solution to a problem from a dream. Once I remember I had the same dream every night for a month, about a cave with creatures in it. A few weeks after this dream stopped, a new show, called Fraggle Rock, was aired. It was about muppet creatures that lived underground in caves. Precognition? Prophesy? Or did I just see a commercial telling about the premier of this show and not remember seeing it?

Some people dream in color, others say they can smell or taste things in their dreams. Some, like me, remember dreams, others claim they never dream.

We may never know why or how we dream, if they mean anything or not, but we all dream. And our dreams can be unsettling, vivid, unrealistic or forgotten, but they are there.

I wonder if we will ever know why we dream. Or how our minds come up with these disconnected stories. Regardless, I find it amazing that we can dream.

So tell me, do you dream? Do your dreams make sense? What is the weirdest dream you remember having? Comments are open, share your dreams. Am I the only one that dreams this weird stuff?

Don't you know yet? McD's sells HAMBURGERS!

We have all been there. In a hurry, wanting a quick lunch. Just stopping in for a bite to eat. Whether we use the drive thru or run inside to make our order, we all know this situation.

You know what you want, you need to order it, get it and be on your way. That is the convenience of fast food. A meal on the go, food in a few minutes. A wonderful thing. But it always seems you run into this....

There is a person in front of you that has no idea what the place serves. They stand there, reading the menu, for hours it seems. They seem confused, "Hmm, what is there to get? Oooh, I can get a hamburger... or a cheeseburger.... or a hamburger with 2 patties.... oh wow look, that one can come with cheese too!"

For mercy's sake, this is a HAMBURGER PLACE! Of course they sell hamburgers. Don't you know that yet? The menu never really changes. This is not a fancy place. Pick a burger and order it and MOVE on!

But yet, they stand there, reading over the menu, and over it again, like they expect some new option to suddenly just appear if they stare at it long enough. You are trying to be patient, glancing at your watch. "So much for 'Fast' food," you think.

It has been over 5 minutes now and that slowpoke in front of you still hasn't comprehended the fact that this is a hamburger place that sells hamburgers. Finally they decide, ooo I will get a hamburger! The whole place almost lights up with their realization that this is a hamburger place. Wow, they can get a hamburger, you think, Great, now maybe I can finally order.

Yes, we have all been there. A two minute stop lasts half an hour. Fast food isn't anywhere near fast at these times. Some people just don't understand. As you rush out the door, or drive off with your food, just remember this: A hamburger place sells hamburgers!

Gray WHAT?

Yesterday started out as a normal day. Woke up, got my coffee and sat down at the computer. Simple enough things I do every morning. Check my email, read through my favorite blogs, have a glance at what is going on in my classes.

The puppycat curled up in my lap, saying good morning to my friends online, sipping on my coffee. Looks like it will be a normal day. I get done checking everything, then log in to make my daily blog post. All is well.... so far.

My first cup of coffee is gone, time to get another. Since I am up and moving and more awake by this time, I do a bit of housecleaning, feed the animals, and do my morning clean up. In the bathroom, the last step is brush my hair. Lol, it gets messed every morning from the snuggles and cuddles I get from the dogs in the wake up greetings. Not thinking about much, I attend to my morning routines.

But wait! I have something in my hair. What the heck? I know my pets shed a lot, but I have my own hair on my head, I don't need theirs there too. Ah, well, I will just brush it out. Umm, it isn't coming out with the brush... ok then, I will just pick it off. It's attached to my head? This isn't a pet hair, it is my own hair. But how can that be? My hair is dark brown, almost black. This hair is lighter. Much lighter.

Oh my gods, it is GRAY! I have a gray hair. Whoa, how did this happen, when? I am only 34 and I am getting gray? This isn't right. Not yet anyway. I won't have gray hair yet, so a tug and it is gone.

But I know it will be back. And it will be bringing friends with it. Soon I may have a whole party of gray hairs on my head. So I guess this is it, I am getting older. I know it had to happen, but I wasn't expecting it quite this soon.